Both near and far, here we are...

8:03pm: Post 6
...Lester and Hal are making fun of me.

Me: *plays with toys, murmuring quietly to self*
Lester: ...Near.
Me: ...yes?
Lester: Why are you in a tower?
Me: ...I was captured
Hal: *coming by* Really? Who captured you?
Me: ...Kira.
Hal: Oh... are you busy trying to escape, then?
Me: Of course.
Lester: ...then who's the person climbing up the tower to save you?
Me: ... ... ...that's Matt.
Lester and Hal: *look at each other*
Me: ...Matt's working to help me stop Kira, you know.
Lester and Hal: *go off sniggering* of course

It only got worse, though.

Me: So it is clear that Kira and the Japanese Task Force have a clear connection-
Lester: *whispering to Hal* I bet Near wants to connect with *someone*
Me: ... and with the world pressure escalating, it is undoubtable that it will soon cut loose, and Kira would love to do just that-
Hal: *whispering to Lester* I bet Near would love to do *someone*
Me: ... ... ...and then Kira would rape both Lester and Hal for being ridiculous during a briefing.
Lester: *whispering to Hal* Haha! Near said rape.

Stupid, stupid subordinates. Need to find a way to keep them out of my private life.

I had Gevanni put laxatives in their afternoon tea. Teach them to laugh at me.

3:26pm: Post 5
The power is out here.

The entire city is dark. It's storming, raining hard, and lightning and thunder is everywhere. I sent Gevanni and Lester and Hal home. The news says the roads will be washed out soon.

The sole emergency generator is on here, providing minimal lighting to the crucial rooms that absolutely must have power.

My room is not one of them. It's dark and quiet in here.

Except for the constant lightning flashes. And the thunder that shakes the room.

This laptop isn't working right; it's supposed to be a distraction for me from the storm and take my mind off the fact I'm hiding under my bed in a ball.

Please ignore this post. It's more for my benefit than anyone else's as I attempt to rationalize my fear.

...

I really don't like storms...

8:52pm: Post 4
Matt is here.

It's... unusual, having someone else roughly my own age around. It requires me to attempt being social, as it'd be rude not to talk to him after asking him to work for me. I'm... not very good at it. Lester, Gevanni, and Hal have all accepted him readily enough (as if they wouldn't accept something I told them), though Hal did comment, "Isn't that Mello's friend?"

...

I wonder how Hal even knows that.

Matt is... nice, to have around. After working during the day and the others go home, we turn out the lights so he can take his goggles off and do things. Once he tried to teach me how to hack into a computer. I didn't like it much; the tracer's beeping and all the suspense trying to download the right file and erase your logs... not my sort of game. Matt seemed to enjoy it, though, so he kept messing around, hacking more computers as examples for me to observe. We sat in the same chair while he did; a big leather one, that I'm small enough to fit beside him in. I watched for a while as he messed around, racing foreign intelligence agencies to see if they could catch him in time before he stole and deleted their files and such, only to put them back, a slight grin on his lips as he did, something akin to a laugh escaping his lips every once in a while.

I like Matt's eyes. They're much more interesting to watch than the tracer and download progress of the coputer monitor while he's hacking. They're like translucent windows, sometimes. You can see things hidden behind them, though you're never quite sure as to what.

More often, I'll play with my toys on the floor and Matt will play with his DS or Gameboy or PalmPilot or whatever. That's easier, I think. Then I'm free to go to my own little world, and he's free to go to his.

I watch him sometimes. He gets very involved in his games. You can see the frustration and determination flicker across his face, as well as the triumph when he beats some evil foe. If the screen of hsi game is dark enough, you can see it in his eyes, too...

...I think I caught him watching me once. Though, he might have simply been zoning out for a moment. It made me self-conscious. I'm used to Gevanni or whomever watching me play, but... Matt? I'm... not accustomed to such a thing.

Lester asked me what I thought of Matt today. On a personal level, not as a coworker. I didn't respond, but I sat there for a long time, thinking, quiet, twirling my hair.

I think...

I think I may have made my first-ever friend.

...I think I like it, too.

3:51pm: Post 3
Matt has acquired an online journal as well. I find this highly interesting. He's in New Jersey, which is rather close to the Capital. Mello and I both inquired as to if he would like to work with us (individually, naturally) and Matt said he would think about it.

I wonder what he will decide.

I was playing a reenactment of the sequence of events earlier while the other three were off doing busy work. I didn't realize that they'd paused to watch me until after I was done, so now they know what happened as well. My game went something like this:

Matt: Hey. I'm bored.
Near: Hello Matt. Why are you bored?
Mello: OMG MATT WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN YOU SUCK
Near: ...
Matt: Around. Doing stuff. Why d'you care?
Mello: You're a LIAR you're so boring you need me to entertain you
Matt: ...yeah RIGHT, oaf.
Near: ...Matt, would you like to work with me on the Kira case? I would appreciate your help.
Mello: Bitch NO, Matt's working with ME
Matt: ...you never asked me to help you, Mello
Mello: I just DID
Matt: That was a demand, not a request, you snot
Mello: Shut UP, you swot!
Near: *proceeds to watch ensuing fight in silence whilst the two yell and scream and bicker*
Matt: Well, I'll have to think about it!
Near: Go ahead. Take all the time you need.
Mello: Hell NO! You know you're going to come with me, so just say it now! You're so full of shit pretending you're actually going to work with Near you-

Here, I realized I had an audience, and so stopped playing and set the team to looking for subliminal messages in the broadcast of Kira's Kingdom.

So. Matt's going to decide whether he wishes to work with me or Mello. I made logical arguments supporting my side, while Mello yelled and threatened Matt. And Matt's still thinking it over. Because, apparently, yelling and screaming works.

My mother always told me that temper tantrums never accomplished anything. Why, then, does Mello always get what he wants...?

6:05pm: Post 2
L is coming.

L had found a way to travel through space and time and is coming here to catch Kira. He commented that he hopes the three of us (me, himself, and Mello) can all work together to solve this case.

Mello seems to believe I am in love with him. I'm not quite sure why. Odd...

I don't think Mello is capable of loving anyone. He doesn't seem to be the type of person to open himself up emotionally to anyone. To do so is to be vulnerable, a thing Mello loathes.

I asked Hal about it today to see what she thought.

Me: Hal, do you think Mello is capable of loving anyone?
Hal: *looking at me oddly* ... I think so. He loved his parents once, didn't he?
Me: That's not the type of love I meant.
Hal: ... *carefully* ..why do you ask, Near?
Me: .....
Hal: .....
Me: ..... ;
Hal: ... *smiles* I think if the right person came along, Near, he just might.
Me: ...thank you for your input, Miss Hal.
Hal: *smiling* anytime.

So apparently, Mello *could* fall in love, but it is highly, highly unlikely that he ever will.

However...

There is still a chance.

4:15pm: Post 1
This business of keeping a journal is very... odd.

Lester found out that Mello was on this journaling site as well. His eyes got huge, and now seems to be of the opinion that this public communication by way of the web is not such a good idea anymore. Gevanni seemed privately amused, and Hal just laughed.

I don't see why the fact Mello and I are communicating again is such fuss.

Today the network was down, so I played with the finger puppets I made until Gevanni had gotten it working again. Lester watched. I ignored him, trying to play like normal, but it was too distracting, so I had to make them talk quietly to one another. Eventually, Lester started asking questions.

"Who's that, Near?"

"...this is me."

"Who're the other two?"

"L and Mello."

"Why're they all playing together?"

"...why wouldn't they?"

"Why is the black one holding the white one's hand?"

"....."

After that, Hal started sniggering, and Gevanni told Lester off. I don't understand why; did they never play with toys when they were young?

Adults and such pointless gossip are annoying. I prefer to be left alone with my toys.

2:33pm: Post 0
Lester has been expressing concern about my state of mind as of late. He seems excessively worried that if I do not express my emotions through some sort of constructive means, all the tension inside of me will build up and intensify until I crack, go insane, and kill them all. He proceeded to demonstrate this by imitating me playing with a toy, getting a crazy look in his eyes, and ripping the head off of the toy with his mouth, drooling.

I just looked at him. Gevanni eventually made him get back to work.

However, Lester as a valid point. While I tend not to concern myself with such superfluous things as emotions, I am human, and therefore, at time, experience them, willingly or not. For these times, I suppose having a journal to express myself into would be conveinent, so, hence, this livejournal.

It's mostly to keep Lester off of my back, though. Stupid man.